“I don’t think I’m going to get that sick this time,” says my wife. And then at exactly 6 weeks, the nausea hit full force. She’s still functioning, but she feels terrible and looks terrible (but gorgeous, of course). Luckily she has the rest of March off and can sort of ease back into work in April. I think last time she was feeling better by about 14 weeks.
We’re both surprised by how quickly things are changing. With D feeling rough, I’ve been doing more of the parenting than usual, and J has definitely noticed – she asks for D more often, and is a bit out of sorts. It seems like already the pregnancy is taking D away from J a bit, and like that is the beginning of what is in store when the newbie arrives – a division of parenting in which I’m parenting the toddler and D is parenting the newbie. And we’re thinking more about how hard this is going to be for J -first getting used to having less access to her Mama, and then getting used to sharing us with a new baby as well. It makes my heart hurt a bit.
And the question that plagues me right now is: How on earth can I be there for D and the new baby in the hospital (she’ll be having a planned repeat cesarean), and also make the absence/transition as smooth as possible for J? There is plenty of family to help, but I don’t want to totally disrupt her. Do I sleep at home, or at the hospital? How do I figure out a balance so that I’m not letting anyone down? If anyone has suggestions, I am all ears.
D’s first prenatal appointment was yesterday. She’ll be seeing our GP for a while and then transferring to an OB. She’s decided not to try a VBAC for a bunch of reasons, and we both feel good about that decision. In just under two weeks she’ll have a dating ultrasound, then NIPT at 9 weeks. Because of all the soft marker drama following J’s anatomy scan, we decided to pay out of pocket for NIPT. We just don’t want to go through what we went through last time if the baby has soft markers. It sounds like a weird thing to do, because obviously J didn’t end up having down’s syndrome or anything, so you’d think that if the same thing happened again we’d be calmer about it, but we just want to know. We’ll also find out the sex, which I am looking forward to. I have more of a preference than I did with J, but it doesn’t really matter to me hugely.
This all sound like we’re getting ahead of ourselves – it’s still SO early – for something that’s the size of a pea, but… it’s exciting. I’m trying not to succumb to the terror of everything that could go wrong, like I did the first time, and to instead focus on the most likely outcome – a small new person joining us out here in the world in 7 1/2 months.